Saturday, September 24, 2005

Funnys!! (ha, ha, ha, haaa...)

Check out these funny jokes!!(these jokes are no insults to you but to make you laff it up. These jokes are provided by a friend not to be named. Enjoy!!)

1.Your Mamma's so fat the supermarket sign said wet floor and she did
2. A boy and his mother were in a line behind a fat lady. Suddenly the fat
lady's beeper went off. "Look out, Mommy!" he said, "She's backing up!"

3.A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a
'redneck' joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Before you tell that joke you should know
something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs. and a redneck. The guy sitting next to me
is 6'2", 225 lbs. and a redneck. The fella next to him is 6'5", 250 lbs.
and a redneck. Do you still want to tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "Nah. I don't want to have to explain it three times."

5.A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied, "I'm having a baby." With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?" She answered, "He sure is." Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?" She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby." With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked, "Then why did you eat him?"

6.How to keep a stupid person busy {Scroll down}

How to keep a stupid person busy {Scroll up}

7.Your mama's so poor,she saw a corn on your daddy's toe and she ate it!

8.A big, fat lady walks into a bar with a duck under her arm. The bartender says," Hey, where'd you get the pig." She says, "It's not a pig it's a duck." He says, "I was talking to the duck."

9.Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son.
It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the

Yo mama's so fat, her clothes come in three sizes. Extra Large, Jumbo, and OH MY

11.There were three men, a Mexican, American, and a Canadian, on airplane with a fat lady and three parachutes. The plane started going down, and the three men grabbed the parachutes. The Mexican jumped out yelling, "God bless Mexico!!!!" The Canadian jumped out yelling, "God bless Canada!!!!" The American jumped out and yelled, "God bless America!!!!" The fat lady jumped out without a parachute and yelled, "God bless whoever I land on!!!!"

12. God creates man. Man develops technology and makes man himself.
Then one day, the scientists of the world decide they don't need
god any more because they have their own supplies. So they send
the smartest one to talk with god. The scientist says, "God, we
don't need you anymore. You can leave." So God says, "Okay,
then let's have a contest, we each make a man." So the
scientist picks up some dirt, but god says, "No, no, get your
own dirt."

13. Friend: You know what time it is? Other Friend: No,what time is it? Friend: It's time for you do move out of my way!! Other Friend: Well it's time for you to get a new watch!!!!!

14. One day a red head, a burgandy, and a blonde went for a hike. When they were already to start hiking the burgandy said "Did you gals bring anything because I brought food in case we get hungry?" Then the red head said "I brought water in case we get thristy!" Then the blonde said " Well I brought a door from a car. If we get hot we can roll down the windows!"

15. ( This joke is for smart people. Think! Think!) Two guys waled into the bar the third one ducked.


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